8:15 AM – We’ve been at the surgery center since 7:00 AM this morning. We have the routine down by now. There is always some prep work the nurses and staff have to perform, followed by a visit from the surgeon, and the ‘I love you! See you in a little bit.’ Then the waiting and trying to keep yourself busy, while Shawn is in surgery. Mixed in with all that is prayer. Prayer before we head out of the house, at the hospital/surgery center, before leaving the prep area, and of course in the waiting room. God is good! That is not just make-believe, but a statement and testimony to His taking care of us. It is also the truth, an experience that no one can deny us. This is ours, and He is our God.

Just needed to get that expressed in case anyone doubts that after five surgeries, countless opportunities to rely on Him, with all the pain and complications Shawn had to endure, that there would be any wavering on our reliance on and trust in our wonderful Lord. If you are ever in a tough spot, let us encourage you to draw closer to Him.

So, what will be on the schedule for today? Shawn should be in surgery right around 8:45 AM CST, with the surgery itself estimated to last around 2 hours. Then there is recovery time and waking up. The last time we were here at the surgery center she was doing really well and came out of anesthesia really quickly. We are hoping the same will be the case today.

The plan at the moment is to take her home this afternoon. So, we will see how things progress.

This is also the last big surgery, with a very minor procedure following in the Feb./March time frame in the new year. We are definitely thankful how the Lord has led, despite the physical marks left on Shawn’s body. In a way, this is our personal memorial to the goodness and kindness of our Lord. Shawn is alive today, as far as we know it cancer free, and is doing very well with recovery.

10:20 AM – The OR just called and said that it took them a bit longer than expected with the first set of procedures, so we are now about half way through the surgery. Everything is going well though.

11:20 AM – The surgeon just came out and said that Shawn was doing well and is currently in recovery. I should be able to see her in about 20-30 minutes.

1:55 PM – Shawn was released from the surgery center and we have arrived safely at home. She is currently resting and we’ll see how the pain management is going to turn out this time. We’re not expecting any big surprises. We’ll have Annie home for just a little bit before she will be picked up by Aunt Rachel. We are always considering how all of this is affecting her, and while on the surface she seems to be doing alright, we do know that it does weigh on her little soul, too. We cover her in prayers, of course, so our request from the Lord is that He surrounds her with His satisfying peace.

Shawn is doing very well after this last surgery in November. There are some very minor issues due to the extend of the procedure, but those will be waning in the coming weeks. Shawn remarked this morning that the biggest concerns of a medically induced menopause have never manifested. If this is an indication of how things will remain, she will be delighted. Having had to content with many issues of menopause for the last few years already, this is a welcome surprise.

So, as we are preparing for surgery number five tomorrow, we are once again reminded of our reliance on God and prayer support from family and friends. Without it we would fair much less favorably through this journey. So, once again, thank you for standing with us! We so appreciate each and every one of you!

As for details about tomorrow’s surgery, we will be at the surgery center at 7 AM CST, with the surgery to begin at (or around, as we have come to learn) 8 AM CST. The surgery is supposed to last 3-4 hours, due to the number of procedures that will need to be performed. So, this is going to be a long one.

As before, I (Jurgen) will be posting status updates. We welcome your comments and questions, but mostly ask you to join us praying for guidance for the surgeon and her team, for God’s will to be done, accompanied by a testimony of faith and trust in Him, as we model to others touched by Shawn’s journey a life fulfilled in Him.

We will chat again in the morning!

Blessings,

Jurgen, Shawn & Annie

After some initial difficulties after the last surgery, Shawn is doing quite well. There are still some residual issues she is dealing with, but we are confident that those will subside in the next few weeks as well.

You may have read that a few days after the surgery Shawn had to go back in and had to have a small follow-up procedure done. Some of the incisions didn’t close as well as the surgeon had hoped and she needed to treat them to prevent further issues. We continue to covet your prayers regarding the situation.

Now the next step is to prepare for surgery #5, which will be taking place on December 3rd, so less than two weeks from today. That surgery will be a day surgery, so hopefully I will be able to bring Shawn home that same day. It is a follow-up surgery to the reconstruction process and should be the final big one, with a very small procedure following in March of 2011.

As before, we will be posting updates for those who are still hanging in there with us and praying for Shawn and our family.

We appreciate you all so much!

I want to thank each of you for lifting me up to the Lord in prayer! I have to say that I have felt truly carried along and have experienced God’s divine strength and peace through the past few days. I have been basking in the love and encouragement you have expressed to us on the blog and Facebook. I laid in bed last night reading your words and felt so blessed!

As Jurgen mentioned in an earlier post, the surgery was done through laparoscopy, so it was much less invasive than a normal incision would have been. I am extremely grateful that this type of surgery is available and common now days, because the pain associated with this type of surgery, and the possibility of infection, is greatly reduced. While I do have discomfort that ranges from mild to strong, it is tolerable. I’m hoping to be taking just Tylenol within a couple of days, since my body doesn’t tolerate narcotics well at all. Even now I’m taking a very low dose, just to take the edge off. I am being encouraged to walk as much as possible, because that will hep everything get back to normal quicker. I’m glad for that. I don’t like sitting around very much. I’ll have to be careful not to overdo it though, since I will probably feel like I’m back to normal sooner than I really am. The doctor said I need to take it easy for about 2 weeks (no heavy lifting or straining), but should be able to return to normal activity within about 4 weeks.

We are hopeful that the doctors will let me go home later today. We’ll keep you posted.

Shawn is now in surgery. They took her to the OR about 15 minutes ago, did some more pre-op work and the status on the screen is now showing that they have begun. The surgery should last about 2-3 hours, with time in recovery about 1-2 hours, depending on how well Shawn does. In the past she has had a hard time waking up, so I am going with the upper limit on that.

It never gets easier, no matter how often we have been through this now. Yes, all this is more familiar, but it still requires relying on the Lord to make it through the emotional parts. After all, there is so much to consider. It is in moments like these that we are reminded of how short life can really be. What if there are complications during surgery, or afterwards? What if, by some unexpected event, having said our good-byes this morning is the last time we see each other? We talked about it this morning, that without being able to trust God, the only thing we are left with are fearful questions that we don’t receive any answers.

The wonderful aspect about any of this is that we DO indeed have a loving and caring Father who delights in watching over His children. This is not just make-believe, but a real every day experiencing His love and devotion.

So, we are encouraged in multiple ways. There are friends and family who pray for us and genuinely care for how Shawn is doing. There are those who encourage us in the Lord with words of kindness and support. And most of all, there is this deep knowing that we have God walking with us, giving us peace and an understand that cannot be explained. That is what this short life is all about.

11/05/2010 – 10:00 AM CST

Just got a call from the OR. Everything is going well at the moment, although the surgery is taking longer than I (we) anticipated. The nurse said that they are looking at another two hours before Shawn will be moved into recovery. I assume that there was more prep work required once they started the actual procedure. Shawn is undergoing a hysterectomy, all due to the same extremely high possibility of developing ovarian cancer as with the breast cancer. The problem with ovarian cancer is that there is no real good test for it. Many cases are not caught until it is showing symptoms, which obviously causes significant issues. A complete hysterectomy was decided on after many hours of studying up on the subject, and getting wise counsel.

So, like before, this little heart of mine has to cling to our Lord a little while longer, as He continues to provide all that is needed in this time. Have you ever watched a really intense movie, where you are at the edge of your seat the whole time through? Well, this is very similar, except this is real and all emotions and bodily reactions carry on beyond the short jolt you receive when watching the film. I am so thankful to the Lord for supplying the peace that settles when returning thoughts back on His love and grace.

11/05/2010 – 01:30 PM CST

Shawn is out of surgery and in her room. She is doing well. The surgeon came to talk to me right after the surgery and said that everything went very well during the surgery. Now it is simply a matter of a smooth recovery and dealing with the effects of medically induced menopause due to the complete hysterectomy. Since Shawn can’t take any hormone replacements (the breast cancer she was diagnosed with feeds of estrogen) it is going cold turkey. We hope for none to mild symptoms and trust the Lord for a smooth recovery.

Shawn will be at the hospital at least until tomorrow afternoon. It will be great to have her back home with the whole family.

One concern will be the pain management after the surgery. We discovered that she has an allergy to morphine, which is the more common way pain is being treated. She has been given alternative medication and we hope that this will be an area of little to no concern.

11/05/2010 – 10:00 PM CST

We are so amazed at how well Shawn has been doing since surgery concluded. Time in the recovery room was very short and she’s been actually up and about a couple of times late afternoon and tonight. I had to hold her back from racing through the ward.    I’m sure a good portion is the pain meds talking, but nonetheless this is truly amazing. If all goes well and no complications arise I should be able to bring her home around lunch time tomorrow. We are hopeful.

Shawn’s parents will also bring Annie home to be with us. Our little family will be complete again. A truly wonderful and soothing thought. While Shawn has some weeks to fully recover, we are hopeful that it will go fast, as the next surgery will take place in four weeks.

Again, thank you so much for all who have spent time today praying for her and us as a family. We appreciate you so much! Many of you have sent us personal notes of encouragement and just to check in. We are so extremely blessed with wonderful friends and family! Thank you!

The surgery tomorrow is set for 7 AM CST. Initially the thought was to deal with the issue of greatly increased chances for ovarian cancer by removing Shawn’s ovaries only. In the last few days Shawn felt impressed to investigate further, which has resulted in a decision to do a complete hysterectomy. We won’t go into all the reasoning why this was decided, only to say that there was lots of prayer and consideration involved, including taking advice from godly folks around us. So, with that Shawn (and we as a family) feel settled and positive about the direction.

At the moment we expect to have Shawn stay in the hospital until Saturday late afternoon. Full recovery is expected to last 4-6 weeks.

As before, we covet you prayers. We have a loving and tender God, who delights in watching out for His children. Prayer is something He has given us not only to casually call on Him, but to ask Him like we would a loving Father on a daily basis and when needed most. We appreciate your prayer support!

Blessings,

Jurgen, Shawn & Annie

It’s been 3 days since my last surgery and I just wanted to let you all know that I’m doing GREAT! The pain this time has been minimal. I did take a pain killer on Friday night before bed (after coming home from the surgery center), but started to feel sick in the middle of the night from the pain killers, so decided to give Tylenol a try after that. I found that the Tylenol was sufficient, and by Saturday afternoon I was able to stop taking even the Tylenol. Wow, what a difference from the last two surgeries! I’m still a little sore, and feel like I’ve pulled some muscles in my upper torso, but I’m actually able to get around quite comfortably. It was a great relief to be able to walk Annie to her classroom this morning for her first day of Kindergarten! No Mama wants to miss that first day!!!

So THANK YOU, once again, to all of you who held me (and US) up in your prayers! The Lord was certainly gracious to me through this past surgery.

We love you all!

Stay tuned.

11:45am – Arrived at the surgery center where they are currently preparing Shawn for surgery. Sadly, I was not allowed to go with her, but I will see her before they take her to the OR.

The surgery should take 2 1/2 to 3 hours we were told. That is followed by recovery, so it may be close to 5 hours before I will see her again.

We’re in good spirits though. The Lord is faithful, as always.

1:10pm – They just took Shawn into the OR. Now the waiting starts again.

3:10pm – No new updates yet. Shows you that surgeries can only be estimated in length at best. We’ve done this now a few times, so we know to automatically pad the durations we are told. Not a problem. I’d rather the surgeon taking her time.

3:30pm – Shawn is out of surgery and everything went beautiful. The surgeon just came out to talk to me and said that Shawn was doing great. She’s currently in recovery and I should be able to see her in a little bit. Since this is a day surgery, I’ll be able to take her home tonight. They want to make sure she’s fully out of recovery for at least 45-60 minutes before they’ll release her.

So glad for medical staff. Truly am. We live in amazing times and in an amazing corner of the world. It is indeed a blessing, as there are so many others living today that don’t have access to good medical care. We hurt for them.

4:30pm – I’m sitting in the recovery room with Shawn. She is doing great. Much less pain than last time, that’s for sure. I think we may even get to go home in just a little while. Not rushing it though.

6:00pm – We are at home! Shawn is doing remarkably well with way less discomfort as after the last surgery. Now the goal is to make her comfortable at home and keep her off the riding lawn mower! (Just kidding…) Seriously though, she’ll have to refrain from a few things such as lifting anything heavier than 10 lbs for a week, with nothing more than 20 lbs the following. She also won’t be allowed to drive for a few days.

All in all, we have to say that this was a breeze today. We’ll see how the night progresses and how tomorrow will go. We are very encouraged though.

Thank you again for all who have prayed and contacted us! You are truly incredible friends.

Most of all, we thank our Lord and Saviour for His sustaining power, without which we all would be in great peril.

So, what has transpired since and what are we looking at this time around?

For starters, the last months have been devoted physically to recovery from a double mastectomy, followed by the initial steps of reconstruction. While we won’t go into all the details (unless you really want to know, in which case we are more than willing to satisfy your curiosity), it hasn’t been always fun. There was a tremendous amount of pain and discomfort involved right after the surgeries. I still cringe at the thought of all the things I had to do Shawn, causing her pain and discomfort. We made it through it, or I should say, Shawn made it through it – with the Lord’s help, of course. She is such a trooper…

Recovery and the first steps of reconstruction have gone well though, with one minor exception – more scarring than Shawn had hoped for. That is one area that, if asked, Shawn would tell you she is most disappointed about. There are some potential steps the surgeon can take during the upcoming December surgery that will hopefully minimize it, but it is significant nonetheless. We will see what the Lord has in store.

All along the Lord has been tremendously gracious to Shawn, which she has responded to with an extreme measure of faith, endurance, patience, and a determination to settle into the new normal. Everyone carries with them a measure of private pain and disappointments. However, Shawn would never let you know. Not because she wants you to think that there is nothing wrong with her, but because of the realization that there are so many other people out there who have to endure way more than she has had to. She is a true lady of grace.

So, what is going to happen on Friday? Surgery number 3 will complete the major steps of reconstruction. This time it will be an outpatient surgery, which means that I will be able to take her home that same evening, depending on how well she does recovering from surgery. She’s been a bit slow waking up from surgery the last couple of times. However, those surgeries were much longer, so we hope that this time she will have it a bit easier.

The surgeon indicated that she’ll be sore for a few days, but should be back to normal in a couple of weeks. So, we’re definitely looking forward to that.

The surgery is schedule for 12:15pm on Friday (August 20th) and I will post updates to this blog as we go. We realize that you all have busy lives, so I will attempt to keep the update posts short so you at least know what transpires.

If you would like to pray for Shawn, we would absolutely love to have your support. Here is a list of specific things to pray for:

• For Shawn to stay healthy prior to surgery. Our little girl seems to have caught cold and has had a sore throat and nose since yesterday, so we hope that Shawn will stay clear of that. Otherwise it’s potentially rescheduling surgery.
• Speaking of our little girl, we pray for an added measure of peace and reassurance that our Heavenly Father has everything under control. She dearly loves the Lord and we want Him to be real to her during this time.
• We also pray for the surgeon and her team, that the Lord grants her wisdom and guides her through the process.
• We do trust Him for a quick recovery and recuperation from the surgery.
• Above all, we pray that the Lord once again uses this journey to bring attention to His undying love and tenderness. May He be the one who receives the focus of our attention and devotion.

We love you all and appreciate your support.

Love,

Jurgen, Shawn & Annie

PS. – Hi Everyone! Shawn here. I want to thank my wonderful and supportive husband for updating you all on the medical details! Before closing, I also wanted to add a “personal / family” update.

We’ve had a wonderful and fun summer, which I am grateful for more than ever. After all that we walked through last Fall and Winter, it has been such a nice reprieve to leave that in the past and just enjoy life!! We were able to take a week long camping trip in June as a family. I’m pleased to report that I was still able to kayak during our camping trip, despite no longer having the latissimus dorsi muscles in my back. Actually, those missing muscles in my back have not hindered me in any way. We were told that the muscles underneath the latissimus dorsi would take over, and I guess they have. God has certainly created our bodies in an amazing way!

Annie turned 5 yrs old in July and since then has informed every person, who will listen to her, that she is now “5″.

Annie and I have been able to do a lot of fun things together this summer, which I am also very thankful for. We’ve been to a few kid friendly dollar movies, bowling a few times, lots of swimming and a few birthday parties. The summer has flown by much too fast! Tonight we will take Annie to her new school to meet her teacher and see her classroom. She will begin Kindergarden on Monday. Those of you with children know that this is a bittersweet time. Part of me is super excited for her… beginning her “school journey”. I’m also looking forward to more uninterrupted time during the days to get things done. However, there is another part of me that wants to cry, realizing that things will never be the same again. She is entering a new phase in her maturing process and more of those “apron strings” are being severed.

We also recently added a new member to our family… a dog named Tasha. She is a small, yellow Lab mix. Someone heartlessly dropped her off along the road, not far from our house (a despicable act that too many people are guilty of). The story of how she ended up with us is unusual. I actually ran over her with my car the day after returning from our camping trip! The country road we live along is narrow, with no shoulders, so there was no way for me to see Tasha before she came bounding out of the tall grass along the side of the road. By the time I saw her, it was too late. What a horrible feeling to know that I had just run over a dog!!!! I about had a heart attack! Long story short, it seems that she was only drug under the car, but didn’t actually get under the tires. The vet confirmed that she had no broken bones or life threatening injuries and would make a full recovery within about 6 weeks. Our neighbor was kind enough to nurse Tasha back to health, but then needed to find a good home for her. We decided to take her until we could find her a good home. However, after just one week she had stolen our hearts, and by the second week we were pretty much decided that we would keep her. It has been a bit of a challenge for our 10 1/2 yr old Golden Retriever to share the attention, but she has done much better than we expected and she now gets to enjoy even more attention and playtime than before. There have been a few dog fights and some bloody dog ears and noses, but each week seems to be getting better. This has been another one of those cases of God turning something bad into something good. If I had not run over Tasha, she never would have become our dog. She has added so much to our home and we are thankful that she is with us!

As summer is coming to a close, I am looking forward to getting past the surgery on Friday and returning to “normal” again, until the next surgery in November. I’m hoping to do some volunteering at Annie’s school this year, some work for my dad, and tackling some projects I’ve put on the back burner for the past few years. Jurgen and I will be attending the San Antonio Christian Film Festival for 4 days at the end of October. By that time there will be 4 film projects entered into the festival that Jurgen will have scored the music for, plus 1 that he was the executive music producer for. I’m so proud of the work he’s done for these, and so excited and thankful to see our dreams being fulfilled. It will be the first time that Jurgen and I will be by ourselves for more than a weekend since Annie was born. We are really looking forward to that time together! If you get a chance, be sure to check out the films I’ve mentioned. You can go to http://jurgenbeck.com to find more information on these. They are really worth checking out!!

I hope you all have had great summers as well! We would just love to hear from you whenever you get a chance to send us a line!! Love & Blessing to you all!

I have recovered very well from the two surgeries that I underwent in January, praise the Lord! I feel that I have regained all of my strength and stamina back, just in time for Spring gardening and yard work. I am so thankful for this! I have always found it extremely therapeutic to get outside and work in my gardens, and I’m so grateful to have the strength and health to do it still. I wasn’t sure what to expect after the 2nd operation involving the cutting and moving of my Latisimus Dorsi muscles, but apart from some problems with weak and sore neck muscles, which may or may not be connected with the surgery, I’m doing well and haven’t noticed any decreased back strength.

The reconstruction process is well underway. It is a year long process, so I’ve got quite a bit still ahead of me. My next surgery is scheduled for August 20th. At that time the tissue expanders will be removed and the implants will take their place. I’m looking forward to that, as the implants will be much more comfortable than the expanders. On December 3 I will have another minor surgery (just out-patient) for another step in the process. The final step will probably take place at the end of February or beginning of March 2011.

The only disappointment I have at this point in the process is the scarring, which has been a bit more extensive than I had hoped. It turns out that my body scars very easily. I even have a small scar on my neck where the IV from the original surgery was inserted, and that was just from a needle! I am hoping that the plastic surgeon will be able to perform a scar reducing surgery at some point along the way, and that it will be successful. I know that scars are pretty minor in the big scheme of things, but it is sometimes a little discouraging to think that I may have to be faced with these for the rest of my life. I just have to keep reminding myself to look at the bigger picture and not get so focused on the more trivial aspects. Jurgen & my Mom reminded me that though I may have some scars, I also have LIFE … a good reminder that “that” is what matters!

As some of you may know, whenever you’ve had a bout with cancer, you are supposed to have follow-up visits with an Oncologist… usually for some “years”. They want to monitor you and make sure that there is no suspicious activity going on in your body. I was not comfortable with the Oncologist I was originally referred to. I felt that she was a bit too aggressive for my particular situation, so I decided to seek out another Oncologist to get a second opinion. Wow, I’m so glad I did! I visited the second Oncologist this past week and was very encouraged by what she told me. First of all, it turns out that some of the cancer that I had at the time the biopsy was done was indeed growing outside of the duct. That is the cancer that was taken during the biopsy, and it seems that that small mass of cancer was “completely” removed by the biopsy! I would say that the Lord was definitely guiding that doctor’s hands, and the needle he was using, as he performed the biopsy! I’m not sure how we missed that information along the way, but learning that info makes me even more amazed by God’s timing and intervention in all of this. If He had not made me aware of the lump when He did, there is no telling how far the cancer might have spread before I would have sought out medical attention. Thank you God!!

Secondly, the Oncologist confirmed that the cancer mass was very small (about a 1/2 cm) and was indeed stage 1 cancer. Because of this, she said that I am at very low risk of breast cancer spreading to another part of my body, and therefore, the drug that the other Oncologist wanted to put me on (which I did not feel comfortable taking, due to many possible and undesirable side affects) would, in her opinion, not be of much benefit to me. Therefore, she will not recommend that I take that drug. Yeah!!

She did concur with the Oncological Gynecologist that I should have my ovaries removed as soon as possible, for two reasons. Firstly, I have the BRCA2 gene mutation, which puts me at much higher risk than the average woman for developing ovarian cancer. Since there is currently no reliable method for detecting ovarian cancer in the early stages, the mortality rate for this type of cancer is quite high. Removing the ovaries drops the chance of developing ovarian cancer down to less than 1 percent. Secondly, because the type of breast cancer that I had fed off of hormones, and there is the tiniest chance that a couple of those cells could have gotten loose and travelled to another part of my body (it is impossible to guarantee that every single cancer cell was removed during surgery) it is best to cut off the food supply to any cancer cell that might remain active. Removing the ovaries essentially does that.
Therefore, I will undergo another major surgery before the end of the year to have the ovaries removed. I have labored over this decision quite a bit, since it will throw me straight into menopause. Of course when the body is not allowed to ease into menopause gradually, the affects of surgical menopause can be quite drastic. I have been told by the doctors that there are different drugs that can be given to try reduce the severity of the some of the symptoms, but of course there are always potentially undesirable side affects to any drug. I would prefer not to take any drugs. My hope and prayer is that the Lord will touch my body and cause it to adjust to menopause quickly, so that Jurgen and Annie do not have to suffer along with me. My biggest concern is that I may experience insomnia (something that I have struggled with over the years anyhow) and irritability (which is made worse by lack of sleep). The Lord has been so gracious to me as I’ve walked this road, and my cry to Him now is that He will do a supernatural work in my body and cause this next step to be undramatic. I have heard that some women experience mild side affects from surgically induced menopause… please Lord, let me be one of those!!

Though the doctors would prefer that I have the surgery ASAP, I have decided to wait until after Annie starts Kindergarten at the end of August. For now I want to enjoy the summer with my daughter, and not worry that I’ll turn into “Monster Mom” (if I find myself in a state of irritability). Once Annie is at school and my daily interaction with her is reduced, I feel that would be a better time to undergo the surgery. It will also give me more time to rest and recover afterwards.

Well, that’s about it for now. We’ll send out another update in August, when it’s time for the next surgery. Thank you, again, for continuing to stand with us in prayer and for your letting me know that you are still thinking of me. I’ve been so blessed by your emails asking how I’m doing. It probably means more to me than you know.

Please keep in touch and let us know what’s happening in YOUR lives. It’s always so great to hear from you! We love you!!

Shawn